Time

I don't have anything poetic or thought-provoking to say tonight. I just wanted to talk about feelings. It's funny how quickly I thought I would move on from this. I figured, you know, give it a week and move on to bigger and better things. I know I will get there, that's what I have to keep telling myself. But how long will it take? I don't even know how I feel today. I've slept for a lot of it, and although I saw friends earlier I still just have this empty feeling. Vague sadness, but mostly nothing. How does one even feel nothing? I just feel largely indifferent on a lot of things. It's not how I've felt before today, so it isn't a pattern. But I'm all cried out. I can't cry today. That voice in the back of my head is telling me this is a normal part of the process and I just need more time, but how much time is enough? When do I start worrying? I suppose there's nothing I can do now except let time pass. Tomorrow I want to start my exercising at Planet Fitness and try to get on a routine. Hopefully if I can start doing that regularly I'll feel like I'm making progress and that will catapult things forward. We shall see I guess. I just have to keep that image in my head, an image of sitting with that perfect someone watching the sunset. I saw the perfect sunset earlier last year and I vowed I would come back to see it with my significant other. I know it can happen, it's just a matter of time. On days like this it's that vision that propels me forward. After all, something has to fuel you. Otherwise you're just a ship floating through space with no way home.