Feels

Isn't time supposed to heal all wounds? Logically it makes sense. Humans forget, we move on. But we forget that when we forget, we inevitably remembering at some point. This trigger can be even the tiniest thing but all of a sudden it put me right back in my feels.

I know things will be okay, and I know it was for the best. But I just can't stop thinking what if? We were so good together, surely we could've found a way. Would we still be cuddling today if we had found a way? I try to yank myself out of such pointless daydreaming, but it's futile. I've always been a daydreamer, full of what-ifs that seem so so real. That's what makes it all the more difficult...I feel like I can see this alternate future so clearly and so full of joy.

After all this time and progress I'm surely more equipped to deal with my feels better than ever. But is there a way to deal with them? I don't think so. Oh how cruel it is that the only solution is to just immerse yourself in your emotions. I have become a professional at feeling, which sounds far easier than it actually is. It's so much harder than anyone realizes to not only recognize emotions but to accept them.

I will survive this, I will move on and become stronger than ever, I just know it. But that won't stop me in this moment from just wanting to be held in your arms, listening to the sound of your heart beat.